20 years young.
Mainly consist of reblogs and random posts about me and my life.
My daughter, The Strokes, Circa Survive, and art things.
It breaks my heart truly. Tonight for the first time I heard my daughter crying about her auntie. Yeah she says she misses her and stuff but she never cried. All I was able to make out was “my auntie passed away” through all the tears. But I don’t think she wanted me to hear cause she then switched her story. It makes my heart ache. We both miss her so much. I wish she would come back and everything wouldn’t hurt so much but that’s not the way life works. Here I have this whole new life to celebrate yet it makes me sad cause she’ll never know how much her auntie would love her and spoil the crap out of her. At least Nari has some memories and I’m proud to say she helped raise/shape her into what she is/becoming now. Just wish it didn’t hurt her little heart and everybody else’s. Life just isn’t fair sometimes.
Just thinking about you and realizing how angry I am. How I hate crying about you. How it shouldn’t be like this. How scared I am to have this baby only for the fear of slipping into a deep depression afterwords. How I’m on the verge of giving myself an anxiety attack. Its the little things that I want so much. But nothing I do or say can bring you back and it kills me a little more each time. Its just not fair and I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to be strong. I’m trying so hard to move on. But its just not right. I need you but your not coming back. It hurts so much.